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Spiritual Expansion – Becoming Comfortable In My Own Skin

From the beginning of conscious memory, I didn’t feel like I fit in or belonged anywhere. It always felt like I was just visiting no matter where I was. No place felt like home. It was more like I was observing people, places and situations.

In many ways I felt lost and alone. Friends were difficult to make a challenge to keep. Emotions and experiences affected me more deeply than most if not all the people around me.

I was often challenged for seeing things differently. As a child I was considered outspoken. Having my opinion of how things ought to be caused frustration, bitterness, feelings of being betrayed and even anger.

For many years there was a very tall, thick brick wall behind which I hid my heart, my Spirit, my uniqueness. Things still hurt, people still misunderstood and my heart still got broken. Instead of learning how to cope with my true-Self, I hid behind a sharp tongue laced with anger.

I attracted abusive partners as a way to keep my human self in-line as an attempt to be like others, to be normal. At some point I remember making a conscious decision to stop being angry. Hiding behind a wall didn’t protect me from the very things I wanted and needed protection from. It simply wasn’t working.

My perception of my childhood is one that is filled with not being loved enough, never being good enough no matter how I tried. Today I am pleased to share with you, through years of Soul searching and much self-healing, my relationships with my biological family have healed.

I chose to come of out hiding from behind the brick wall I had built around myself although at that point I no longer knew who I was. There was a lot of self-doubt, insecurity and confusion about why I was in a place that at times is extremely harsh on all levels and in every way possible.

During the fall of 1989, my Mom introduced me to crystals through a book titled The Spiritual Value of Crystals and Gemstones. I didn’t just read that book devoured it and all it had to offer. I began using crystals for their Metaphysical healing properties.

I taught myself to channel energy long before I had heard of Reiki or knew what it was or how it worked. I practiced on friends and family whenever I had the changes. Channeling energy, like many things I would later discover came naturally.

There was still little clarity about my purpose and why I was here. If only someone would tell me what my purpose was, surely I could figure out the rest. If only someone or something would point me in the right direction everything would be OK. Maybe then I would be loveable, accepted and be of value to someone.

I read a lot of books, meditated and worked on myself. I tried a lot of techniques and yet nothing really fit. I was closer with each step forward, still I knew there was something more.

In 2005, I discovered a coffee shop here in El Paso, Texas named Butterflies of Wisdom. The moment I walked in it felt like I had come home. I met other Seekers, Light-Workers and Healers.

We all believed a little differently, saw, heard and felt things a little differently from each other. The most important thing for me is how everyone accepted themselves and each other without judgment, without condition.

This incredible coffee shop and its amazing owners, Carlos Luis Gonzalez and Scott Centers, provided a safe haven, an environment for this lost Soul. I began to blossom little by little. I started taking classes, lots and lots of classes. My thirst for understanding my Life’s Purpose was insatiable. I continued to study, read books, meditate and worked on forgiveness and self-healing.

With each step forward I discovered more about who I am and how to assimilate my truth, walk my own talk while remaining authentic to my core essence, my true-Self.

Since those first classes, I have consciously expanded my sense of awareness and my intuitive gifts. Expansion came at a cost. I was already highly sensitive to energy, my own and all the energy around me. At times it was more than I could handle and I became overwhelmed.

As I crossed through yet another energy portal, I taught myself to balance, integrate and assimilate the ever widening gap between my energy vibration and the energy of others around me. I asked for and created filters to protect myself from absorbing unwanted energy and thoughts of others around me.

I have been where you are. I understand the deep Soul level pain of not knowing why you are here, not knowing what your purpose is or how to fulfill your Life’s Purpose. Our circumstances are different; the heart-felt Soul level ache is the same.

My sole purpose for being here in this realm in this time is to radiate unconditional love and Source light so that I can help you fulfill your Life’s Purpose.

Connect with Terrie Marie, Angels and the Realm of Spirit every day when you click this link http://angelladytm.com/ from Terrie Marie the Angel Lady and Desert Rose Healing Arts! Enter your name and email address to begin connecting with your own Spirituality!

I invite you to visit http://www.desertrosehealingarts.com/?n=3

Copyright 2011 – All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Comments

  1. Rose Wizzard says:

    I Thank You for sharing this timely post Terri Marie.

    This resonates with me massively! In fact, you could be my doppleganger!!
    I too, am now feeling much more comfortable in my own skin. Without recourse to a supportive environment, like the cafe, my path lead me to mental health services, incarceration within them. I say this, not for sympathy, as it was often within such places that I met others similar to myself who believed a little differently, saw, heard and felt things a little differently from each other. The most important thing for me , in such an environment, was how everyone accepted themselves and each other without judgment, without condition (sound familiar!).

    I am still learning how to filter unwanted thoughts and energy of others (often without success!) but loving the process. I have begun, with your support to use crystals to support this. Cassandra Eason’s ‘The New Crystal Bible’ is an invaluable tool(!)

    I too, concur with your sole purpose! My sole purpose in this realm at this time is to radiate unconditional love…

    Namaste

    Rose Wizard

    • Hello Rose,
      It tales courage and strenght to allow yourselfr to be vulenrable outside of your comfort zone for many eyes to see, ears to hear.
      I am here to support you, guide you along your path. When you are ready to begin working with me let me know.
      There is much to share with you and all who seek to balance their truth in this realm of dense physical matter.
      Namaste,
      Rainbows and Waterfall Blessings,
      Terrie Marie the Angel Lady

  2. Rose Wizzard says:

    Hello Terri Marie
    …I Thank You again! for providing a ‘Virtual Cafe’ where I can drop in, read/talk, tap into Angelic Universal Guidance and commune with other Spiritual Beings (having a human experience!).

    Continue to live in the Flow. You are Perfect and Beautiful

    • Hello beautiful Rose,
      Thank you for your kind words, for taling time to view and add your energy to mine and all who pass this way.
      Evolvement, expansion are more than words to me they are verbs dexerribing action, conintous action.
      Rainbows and Waterfall Blessings,
      Terrie Marie the Angel Lady

  3. Daniel Akyea Asamani says:

    Thank you very much ,i have learn much because any time i start to consciouse about any thing some time my life beging to trow away.

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